Dear Marion,

Having dwelled at such length on my parents determination
for themselves and their children to be "etwas Besonderes,"
it's important to note that such ambition is far from
praiseworthy. It reminds me of the text:
"And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased;
and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. (Matthew 23:12)
Any sensitive and intelligent person who had the suspicion
that he or she really was "etwas Besonderes", would surely
want to keep it a deep, dark secret, so as not to disturb the
neighbors or get into trouble with the police. I consider the
whole issue as highly problematic, a spiritual minefield from
which no one who ventures into it escapes unscathed.

When I said to you in our introductory telephone conversation
that I was aware of the problems caused by Marga's hostility
to Margot, I was being a little bit dishonest, trying to ingratiate
myself by assuring you that I was willing to accept for my side
of the family its share of the blame for the fractured relationship.
Now that I try to prepare an accounting of my mother's criticism
of your mother, I discover that I have very little to report except
my mother's repetition of the fact that Margot blamed Marga's
intrusion into the family for the disruption of "die grosse Linie",
the grand sequence of Jewish tradition. My mother had a sharp tongue,
and was very critical of many neigbors and associates, but she 
restrained her criticism of Tante Margot out of deference, I believe,
to my father's sensibility. She felt responsible for his loss of
his brother, and she did not want to add to the hurt. But my mother
was also unstinting in her recognition of Margot's competence as
a business woman, especially in the light of my mother's own awkwardness
in adapting to the American life style, and especially to the English
language.

That having been said, it's important to note that the family
relationship was never entirely ruptured. To be sure, we entered this
country with an affidavit of support not from my father's relatives, -
whether they were unable or whether they were unwilling to give it,
I don't know - but from my father's patient Kurt Friedrichs who was
then a mathematics teaching fellow or assistant professor at NYU.
But I can't remember a single time that my parents drove through 
New York City without stopping at 1781 Riverside Drive, - whereas
I, who passed through the City regularly as I commuted between Boston
and Virginia, inspite of my parents' urging, never did. I know that
my parents accepted Onkel Fritz' recommendations in selecting a
Mutual Funds broker to help them with their investments, I believe
I have a kodachrome of Onkel Fritz on the steamship with which
my parents traveled to Europe in the summer of 1956, and I believe
there was considerable correspondence about possible Wiedergutmachung
(compensation) proceedings, letters which my father almost surely
preserved and for which I will start looking. Your parents visited
in Virginia on at least two occasions. In my collection of scanned
images, I found seven with one or both of your parents. Maybe the
situation wasn't as dire as disappointed memory might paint it.

Jochen