Dear Marion,

Notwithstanding my suggestion that I need not dwell on
the differences between Margrit and myself, the thoughts
that come to mind this morning want to be made explicit.

I referred to qualitative differences;
but as in other chemistries, the quantitative description is 
more immediate and is inherently logically more persuasive.
There is a spectrum of human needs for emotional community
and for "togetherness".  The needs of Margrit and myself
are at the opposite ends of that spectrum.  Margrit needs
to be distant from and, in the end, independent, even of her
"friends", not to speak of her family.  I, on the contrary,
want to be close to individuals, and to the extent possible 
make them members of my family, emotionally, or if you will, 
spiritually, although not at all biologically.
Margrit's need for independence requires social separateness.
She visits one friend and then moves on to visit the next friend, -
with none is she truly "at home". She is in fact at home nowhere. 
"und bin doch nirgends, ach zu Haus." -  to my experience,
hers is the ultimate homelessness. I am different. I have a 
need to be at home everywhere; that's why I have all these houses
and am reluctant to travel anywhere else. My own need for
separateness is satisfied by an intellectual independence which
is fundamental to my existence and which is not subject to
challenge.

My preference (bias in favor of) for closeness corresponds to a
certain intellectual and emotional prowess which tends to set
me apart and make me lonely. Individuals who are close to me often
feel themselves either dominated by or made uncomfortable by me.
Goethe hat gesagt: Gegen die grossen Vorzuege eines anderen gibt
es kein Rettungsmittel als die Liebe. Like Katenus, I use wealth
to try to bind people to me. 

Margrit's preference (bias in favor of) independence or remoteness
corresponds to her feelings of intellectual inferiority. Her sense
of integrity requires her to be on her own, ultimately separate even
from her friends. And the friends she chooses, like yourself, are
individuals who lead separate lives. Her need for separateness is
expressed even in the gifts that she chooses, e.g. the books that
she gives are not books that she has read, and that are therefore
meaningful to her, but rather books that she infer will be meaningful
to the recipient.

====================

The foregoing is what I wrote yesterday morning. I decided not to
send it to you, because I wasn't sure of my judgment. I thought 
I might be wrong. This morning, I'm reminded that when I start
censoring myself, I stop writing. Making objections and corrections
is your function. I hope you are surviving the Minnesota winter.
Alles Gute zum Neuen Jahr. Jochen