Dear Marion,

Thank you for your letter. My mind, especially my imagination
has been contaminated, - corrupted -, by legal work, too much
legal work, but unavoidable, so it seems to me. Even if I
were persuaded of the reality of "free will", I would think
that I had no choice.

I feel under pressure to finish my project: the Estate Tax,
because I can't anticipate the hour when I become incapacitated
or when I die. Worse even, I can't anticipate the hour at which
my mind deteriorates to the point of making mistakes, big,
serious, costly, irreparable mistakes, a juncture I won't be
able to recognize. Perhaps I've passed it already.

I recognize my life these days as an existentialist mini-drama.
I don't paint pictures like Beth Namenwirth, but the emptiness,
the anomie is a pervasive threat and the various efforts in which
I indulge are the skirmishes with which I try to protect myself.
We'll see what happens. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to write a
more nuanced letter.

Jochen