Dear Benj,

Thank you for your replying to my letter. Tomorrow it will be a
week since I drove up to Hanover, and every day that has passed,
I have thought about my trip and about our conversations. I made
several copies of a CD with 441 pdf files of letters that I wrote 
and received when I was 19, 20 and 21 years old, the same age
that you are now. Some of that correspondence was with my parents
and is in German. Most of that correspondence is in English:
letters between Grandma and myself in the three years leading
up to our marriage. Even after more than six decades, I still
find it very compelling to review and recollect what I thought
and how I felt in those very difficult and very important years
which shaped the rest of my life. These letters are not good
literature, they are certainly not "great" literature, but they
are real and true literature in the sense that they reveal to him
or her who knows how to read - the arduous process by which our
lives emerge like tender plants out of the crevices of the hard
harsh world in which we live.  These letters are very different
from the inanities of journalism or from the tripe that is custom-
tailored for the bestseller lists.  Grandma thinks I should not
offer these letters to you because they would not be of interest.
I disagree. I think that if you want to look at them at this
critical time in your life, these letters should be available.
If you found them meaningless, no harm would be done.  But then
again, they might open for you emotional and intellectual
perspectives which would make a great deal of difference.

I have spent most of this week working on my novel. Chapter 50
has grown to about 15 printed pages, which I estimate to be
about half its final length. I've posted the German text on
my website; my immediate next project is to complement that German
text with an English version. Obviously, I'm not at a loss of how
to spend my time.

It's true that when you were in Belmont, conversations between us have
been sparse. But you and I both understand that you went to Hanover
to become a different person, that when you are in Hanover, you are
fact a different person and that you unexpectedly find there a freedom
which makes different and more meaningful relationships possible, 
perhaps even to your grandfather.  If and when you should be ready for
me to make another visit to Hanover, please tell me. It's an important
issue that must never become a matter of politeness. My feelings won't
be hurt if you have other things you prefer to do.  Please remember
that none of my letters, this one included, requires an answer.
Please stay well and happy.

Love, Yoyo