Dear Peter,

Thank you for your thoughtful inquiries. Forgive me for the admission
that I feel helpless. I don't understand about "extended families."
I know only about individuals who either do or do not speak to me.
I don't understand the concept of "witnessing Margaret's passing"
two months after she died. My concern and my only concern is not
to hurt any of the individuals who are in contact with me by my
actions or omissions, by what I say or fail to say. My most
important concern is Klemens who feels very bad and whom I seem
unable to help. I cannot contemplate attending a memorial service
for Margaret unless he came or at minimum unless he asked me to go.

On further reflection, my metaphor that a memorial service from 
which I was excluded was tantamount to a posthumous divorce seems 
frightfully apposite. If I understand correctly, each of the
participants in a memorial service contributes his or her own
memories of Margaret to a composite image, a tapestry or a mosaic
which thereafter becomes the conclusive posthumous definition
of Margaret for her "extended family," a definition from which
I would have been irrevocably erased.

My respectful suggestion to my extended family is that it consider
me to have died with Margaret, or even more apposite, ignore me
as a criminal who has disgraced (no pun intended) that family 
having been been convicted in Suffolk Superior Court of "abusing" 
Ms. Margaret McPhedran by my excessive and indecent love for her, 
because indifference and dislike is the canonical standard of 
interpersonal relations in this extended family while love is 
proscribed and punished by solitude, if not solitary confinement, 
for life.