Thank you for letting me read your proposed letter to the Minnesota Orchestra.
I would like to help, and I'm concerned that a n y comment I might maken would
disconcert you. At the same time, I want to be candid and tell you what I
think. 

 1. Please be very critical of my criticism. 
 2. I am not you; it's inconceivable to me that I would be able to inspire
    50 or 60 physicians to act in concert to support me in any conceivable
    project as you have succeeded in creating and maintaining your orchestra.
    As I've often said to you: your achievement in organizing and inspiring
    your orchestra has been vastly underestimated.
 3. Arguably the "upbeat" style of your letter is a literary equivalent of
    the conventional end-of-concert applause, and will serve as a persuasive
    and effective knocking on the Minnesota Orchestra door.
 4. Arguably the circumstance that I (almost) never join in applause, 
    disqualifies me from expressing any opinion at all.
 5. I would avoid a salutation to the entire orchestra, "Dear Minnesota 
    Orchestra", and yet - on second thought - stylistically it seems eminently 
    appropriate to do so, since addressing an entire orchestra is what the 
    conductor's job is all about.
 6. I would identify (perhaps from the Internet) the name of a responsible
    official of the Orchestra and possibly begin by asking that your letter
    be forwarded to the appropriate individual.
 7. I studiously avoid opening a letter with the pronoun "I", especially
    when it's "I" that I'm trying to promote.
 8. I would begin my letter with the simple statement: "If I am correctly
    informed there is an opening for assistant conductor at the Minnesota 
    Orchestra. I ask to be considered (or I would like to be considered
    for that position.)
 9. The second paragraph I would begin: "Now 25 years old, I graduated from
    Belmont High School in ____. I received a bachelors degree from Yale
    University in ____ and a master's degree in conducting from the Jacobs?
    School of Music in ____. Since _____ I have held a position as musical
    assistant to Benjamin Zander of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra,
    helping him with performances of .... (and here I would list by name all
    musical compositions in the performance of which you have been involved.
10. The third paragraph I would open with the sentence: My musical education
    began when ...  and list all formal musical training including all
    master classes.
11. In the fourth paragraph I would list you musical successes in trumpet
    playing, including awards and honors.
12. In the fifth paragraph I would describe in some detail your organizing 
    the Belmont Festival Orchestra, listing all the compositions which you
    have conducted.
13. In the sixth paragraph I would write (if you can truthfully say so)
    that your conducting has been inspired IN PART by Minnesota Orchestra
    recordings such as ... which have made particularly profound impression
    on you; and that you would very much like to be associated with it.
14. I would include a CD and or DVD of one or more audio/video recordings
    of your conducting.

For you to praise the Minnesota Orchestra (or Mr. Zander ... or anything
else) strikes me as condescending, and I would avoid it. It's perhaps an
idiosyncracy of mine that I don't like and don't use the term Maestro.
I may be wrong in that ... and in everything else.