re: December 31 2019
Dear Dr. Meyer:

I came across this unsent letter from early 2020. I send it to you as an example of linguistic experimentation, not by any means as an exercise in sanity or even thought.

The practice I was adopting was to type without correcting at all. I found myself in a kind of translinguistic realm.

I hope you are well. The conference is now over, and I remain here quaffing the dregs. A Dutch physicist and I had lunch together. So I think I will turn towards physics. I am about to start on this book:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004DEPHTI/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i2
 
Nikola.

you're right about da dictionaries i think. i mean they have their uses. but are they really used to their highest and best purpose:vbut , i mea, what usually  or thypically is?

btw i am going to have to turn off gmail autocorrect because in the spirit ot """total hönesten" i am not going to correct typos except for that one back there which google thankyou google now there's two changed back, and the virst one was[corct] which got changed to "correct" or rather being interpreted, 'corect', since by my wangoing of quotation marks (which i had originally meant to type wangling but i keep that); and then it changed a second one, what was it, what]at was it, never mind.

well you see i am going to have to get out of this environment, and i think i am going to relogin to protonmail, which is securemail (nother change), and aside from autocorrect (which i could easily ditch heree) protonmail doesn't LISTEN HIGH GOOGLE, HI GOOGLE, see i read the terms&conditions once , and, they ket performance rights to what i write here? i mean i don't think if shakeyspeary , you know him, him you know, backwards ackwards, etc. poesy,,,,,, i don't think, they'd put on the complete works without at least italking to him. but you know, they'd bring lawyers, or subjunctive lawyers,k or the ghost of departed lawyers, or epsilons and deltas of .....departed lawyers, (mydadonelovehim), or.....cutlery of laywers, china lawyers of layovers, chinasets of lawyers, reminders of lawyers, Grandfather's Old Pocket watch which he got on youknowwhat from having been being,k peradventure, estopple . in The Firm,,,, and, well, i have a feeling they'd find a way of hinting.

also russians out there. descend not paranoia now but remember. so i am going to change to protonmail and also i am going to ask nathanie's friend blondguy chello in orchestra, he knows about this stuff. so

hmm, where was i. well somewhere else now alpparently. are you a kaiser, and if so, kaiser of what? where? whom? how i won't ask. i mean no offense . we mean no offense. we all mean no offense (fluorescent sign outside place park by ma aparetment,,,,, ugly but not ugly, beautiful but not beautiful,, it says we all in all caps but you see here i don't want to overcapitalize

so kaiser of what? i meanment no offesne. nobody means it. meaning and thinking of meaning and having meant meant and busjcticfly having meant meant all of that is thoughtstopper, dgedankenstöpper, gedankenstoppren einmaleinsaztsgruppen nichtgedichting(auchwitz: it's always there in the discourse, somewhere, ins't? can we dispose for certain purposes, keep for others, keep mebe an epsilon in search of a deltasomething, hoping for reminder not remembrance in the memorialization since, at least of badly-designed memorials, we be keeping the da bomb really bling bling but not bling bling: do they have a word ofr beauty in im di manera de ghettosprach? i think they do, those niggaz, they be clever, they homey teachme howtotalk, so getusedtoitformysakeandmaybeforyoursakeormaybeforsomeonesakeormaybenot.

weirldsprach, ich knowen. but it comes out fast and notsofasly and notsofalse and iffalse at least somewhat fixable though fixable be the wrongenwörden. (i always wanted umlauts. insojust as i asked you, sirrrrreee, ss s s sire?haha......might i be; might i be: mmm hm: might i be------granted: ein wishenpüppen? Graf von Chübrich? i wanted that, first ofor silliness,,,, inspired,, younotlikedly, by der Heavy Metal Umlaut BAAAAAAAANGGGGGGdddddddddjjjjj.....and well iw wanted it never minded how (low batterh it says out there in the window or what they call a window but idon't really wannacalla window-----)-----and well i want it and i need not ask permision and you need not granted but still grant it.

So, recapitulating: are you a Kaiser, and if so, of what? And by writing, for instance, Universitetzplatz, or so the sort of things nathaniel told me about-----do you konguer? and if Die Insel is in island, whatso island? whereso? can a king, ein könig, be king of an island? can könig be einmalkönig?

marcus aurelius next (of course). but will you marcusAurelius.me(you), or i can't remember did you read him?

(You see, I think that is another thought-stopper. This whole guilting and claimed unguilting about notHavingRead.byMeansOf.InTheAblativeCase(ButMaybeItWasReally.InTheAccusativeCase,,,,guilt guilt not guilt we all be smart homeyz yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah! I mean isn't that a thought-stopper? Might it be that ,,,, Akademe, not-so-festivalisch(hey Brahms, that overture: not one of your best, is it?),,,, that all of it is a kind of perverse (i mean the bureaucrats and ivdiversocrats as they say, they conservatives hating it but hating it for good reason but not seeing the original reason: those Yalies yelling in the courtyard about haaaaaaaaaaalloween costumes,,,, i mean gettalife yousay,,, but qualify qualify qualify: about that, the Ackademischergesellschafften is quite right quite wrong quite lost. but i mean these yalies yelling in silliman courtyard. it was in the news and you probably didn't watch. i watched.

it was before trump, -1 BT [which being interpreted is: Botulinum Toxin:: Botox:::youknowthat, thatwhich makes actresses not acressable notmaybe not bankable but whome care???.......and that was the year before the injection.....finally forcedus putonourmasks.....jesuscommethnot.

]

Now, you see, masks , acting masks, are actually useful. You may see me here, you will see me here, you have seen me here, putting them on and off. The Greeks had them (rigid), and for projection in the theater, across the crowds. And that makes them rigid, rigidifies them, the faces i mean. It does. We know that. But there are other kinds of masks. First they arise to protect oneself, and they are not very pursuasive.

I've been learning to teachmyself that skill, in these Christmas says (12: still is, isn't it? or does die Kommerzialzönen forbid it and,,,,,,,,, wow, how predentitively, prepend it?), in these Christmas days. And first for, in a manner of speaking, survival, though I don't really mean that. I mean in the interests of sparkkeeping. I mean in the interests of finding a tree to find under and gather kindling. and so forth. no ill winds.

But those fürstenmasks, those first masks: they are too rigid and not believable. And then secondly, the mask is: to be someone else in the kontext you are in. and here you are really starting to kottononto something. it's a godo thing, good  actually. in it's way, but they all are, everythning, areis good in their/he/his/her/its/ own way. even the ugly things can be used. Even the ugly things can be beautiful. And to lookbehind the ugly things, and to see beauty; well isn't that, perhaps, beauty itself? Don't you think so, or don't you? If we climbed all the way up Plato's symposional ladder,,,, would that be what we find? If, and i am ], perhaps mawkishly, perahaps arrogantischly, injecting here a phrase i might have wished to admire: must we go up there and wrestle the muse down to sealevel? (for we must, we must. what poet spoke of this? sss [surely they did?, but i don'tdidn't want so to say that, but i did, i did, i did. so obsessive me is, still even]) and when wrestly are we not wounded, when restling with muses, for when we wrestly gOds, as jacob knew you know----are we not, must we not be, wounded? and are all wounds.....no some wounds.....are some wounds necessary?

Are you a kaiser?

On Tue, Dec 31, 2019 at 1:20 AM Ernst Meyer <ernstmeyer@earthlink.net> wrote:

    Dear Nick,

    It's late, 1:00 a.m. I found our conversation very stimulating. Thank
    you. I want to start to write down my thoughts before they've
    disappeared in the rabbit hole of time.

    Dialectic is a fundamental characteristic of our thinking, because that
    thinking arises from dialogue, from conversation, from the natural,
    unavoidable exchange and conflict of ideas of individuals speaking to
    each other.

    "Conversation stoppers" to which I believe you referred, I interpret as
    unilateral assertions outside the frame of the dialogue which have the
    perhaps only transient effect of stopping the exchange of ideas.

    The meaning of words arises from dialogue. Words have no existence and
    no meaning apart from the conversations that create them. (I apologize
    to the compilers of dictionaries, but theirs is ultimately a fools
    errand.)

    Scholastics - as in the Middle Ages - depend on "schools" as echo
    chambers, where "thinkers" converse only with each other, and create
    the contrived artificial meanings of words which they consider the
    springs of wisdom, but which loose their meanings as soon as they are
    no longer reechoed.

    Good night

    EJM