Date: July 31, 2023 06:51 From: Meyer, Klemens Subject: Re: too angry Nathaniel took it out on me. He verbally assaulted me at about 4:30 pm, with no provocation. He accused me of wanting to control him and to suppress his self-expression. I had told him earlier in the day that as a matter of courtesy, he should inform you that he planned to paint the front door yellow. It is your house, and the house in which you are living, and in which you are trapped. I had told him that I anticipated that you would object to painting any part of the house, inside or out, any color but white. I told him that I didn’t care what color he painted it. I told him that many years ago, when I suggested painting the trim around the windows gray, you had said that it should be white. I did not mention that in 2018 or 2019, you told me that you thought that the interior of 3 Red Barn Road should remain unpainted, and that if it were painted, it should be painted white, and that the trim should remain unpainted. He wanted me to serve as his ambassador to negotiate the painting of the door with you; I declined. I really don’t care what color he paints the door. It can always be painted a different color. He wants to paint it a loud, foolish and perhaps outrageous color to tell the world that he is in the world, because no one will give him a podium. If it were my decision, I would tell him to do whatever he wants, without regard to my own sense of style or propriety. When Sabine and Nathaniel were working hard stripping and sanding the door on Friday, I stopped on the way home from work to say hello. I asked what color they were going to paint it. Yellow, Nathaniel replied. Well, Sabine said diplomatically, that was a matter that could be discussed. The paint had already been purchased, he said. I nodded, and probably said “OK.” Laura and Leah had taken the two granddaughters to a play in the afternoon, and Laura had asked me to prepare lemonade for the family cookout planned for 5 pm. I had slept from 3:52 to 4:25 to assuage a migraine, which I don’t think was particularly related to the cookout, but may have been related to my worry about your reaction to the prospect of a yellow door. Nathaniel’s attack was so hurtful that after I finished making the lemonade Laura had asked me to prepare, I left the house, planning not to return until after dark. (Rebekah was already boycotting the event, because Nathaniel had verbally assaulted her earlier in the week, accusing her of not liking or valuing him. I had been so upset by this that I had told Laura that perhaps I would go to Nantucket for the day on Sunday; she wanted me to stay.) I drove to Plum Island, but turned around at the gate because of the sign warning that the green-headed flies had arrived. I pulled over to the side of the road to answer messages about one of my patients who was refusing a procedure recommended by all the doctors in the hospital. After 41 years, that work is still some escape from my family. When I got home, I went to what was the boys’ room, closed the door, looked at the patient’s record, and called his mother. I brought some food up from the kitchen and ate with the door closed. Leah and Mike had already left. After Mark and the children and Sabine and Nathaniel had left, I spoke briefly with Laura, and I went to bed. I parked my car behind Laura’s to avoid any encounter with Nathaniel. I am very hurt by Nathaniel’s assault. His obvious suffering and his emotional disturbance do not diminish my pain. I went to sleep last night wishing that I would have a cardiac arrest in my sleep. This morning, I feel slightly better, able to go to work to escape my family. I have spent 45 minutes replying to your message, and will consequently miss my first meeting in the morning. I am sorry, but I cannot discuss this matter with you. My recommendation is that you not object to whatever color Nathaniel wants to paint the door. Klemens Meyer, MD 617-549-5539 > On Jul 30, 2023, at 9:51 PM, Ernst J Meyer wrote: > >  > > Thank you for letting me know. > Nathaniel spoke to me about painting the front door. > He asked me about my wishes and he specifically and emphatically > asked me to make the decision. I replied to him, > a) that I would make the decision, but > b) that I needed first to reach an understanding with you. > > I hope that your anger subsides soon, that you sleep well, > and that soon, perhaps tomorrow, you will be willing and > able to talk with me. > > If Mommy had lived, yesterday she would have been 99 years old. > > On 7/30/23 20:56, Klemens Meyer wrote: >> I am too angry, not at you, to do anything tonight except to try to go to sleep. -- >> Klemens Meyer KlemensBMeyer@gmail.com Mobile 617-549-5539 Confidentiality notice: This communication and any attachments are confidential, intended only for the named recipient(s) and may contain information that is privileged, attorney work product or exempt from disclosure under applicable law. Receipt by anyone other than the named recipient(s) is not a waiver of any attorney-client, work product, or other applicable privilege. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that you have received this communication in error and that any review, disclosure, dissemination, distribution or copying of it or the attachments is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please contact me or Tufts Medicine’s Compliance Department (compliance@tuftsmedicine.org). Immediately, destroy all copies of the communication and attachments. Thank you.