 
                        20011225.00

     Thank you for including my name in the list of
addressees to whom you forwarded the two e-mail messages.
They reminded me of how thoughtful and responsible a person
you are; and being the sort of person you are is in its way
a gift, for which I say "thank you" and for which I am
grateful.

     Christmas is a difficult time in many families.  I
think this is the case because, year round, we are usually
to some extent dissatisfied with each other; and then at
Christmas we whoop it up, and give each other presents, and
make believe that we are different from the way we are the
rest of the year, and that all our dissatisfactions with one
another will disappear, and that we will be, at least for
Christmas, one big happy family.

     This is obviously not how it works. When it dawns on us
that we don't become different just because we have a big
party, we get upset and sad and angry, and we feel that all
is lost. But it isn't. Everything remains pretty much as it
was before, and we go on doing what we have to do.

     My father, who was a very religious person, and paid
attention to what he said, never wished anyone a "Merry
Christmas", because he knew, from experience that merriment
doesn't work.  Instead he always wished everyone a "Blessed
Christmas," on the premise, I suppose, that though merriment
is denied us, blessings come from somewhere else.

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